Life...I am alive...I think…
But why am I still here?
I shouldn't be under 21 living in fear
Of being another statistic, deceased
Due to the lead pellet released
From the glock of a house nigga on my block,
Or more likely, from the club blows of a demon-bred cop
Who despises the melanin?
Endowed skin I reside in.
I don't want to sport a premature bullet wound at my wake.
I'd rather be able to make
Something of my life other
Than be a statistic, maybe be a father.
Father...
I just dare him to come around.
Right, I'd recognize him if he rolled into town,
Since I've always seen his face.
I know his name and the place
Where he now dwells. At times, I truly strife
Trying to think of what I'd do if he stepped back into my life.
Would I emancipate my suppressed
Anger, that has accumulated in my short lifetime of stress,
Augmented by the sight of the pseudo-man's face?
Would I set it on him and then raze and ransack the surrounding place?
Or maybe just tell him that to me, he is merely a head and tail.
I neither knew, nor loved him since the time he bailed.
I don't even care about the child support he failed to pay;
If he were to leave again, and I know he would, I wouldn't stand in his way:
NO, Sir.
Sir...
That rhymes with "Her".
The opposite sex is what I could never figure.
One day she calls me a dog and talks me down;
Next week she asks why I no longer come around.
Then when I do come around, she laughs in my face and calls me a dreamer.
To get with her, I gotta have a Lex Coupe and a Beamer.
So I say forget it, dismiss her as a car-hopper,
But when she makes another pass, you notice I don't stop her.
Once I'm back "under her spell", she pulls my strings
In an attempt to make me do the stupidest things
For her, and I always fall for that game.
I just tell her that she should be ashamed
Of herself to immaturely think that
I would do anything she says because she offers a cat.
So I drop her again, I’m not falling for that,
That mess,
And as she starts to obsess, though she won't confess
That the reason for her sweating me isn’t because my company's a treat.
I'm no longer a person to her; now she's a predator out for meat.
She is now a true chicken-head. She is willing to do and say
Anything to get a hit, but I ain't fast food, and she can't have it her
way.
Her way...
Jahveh. Jehovah. Allah...
Man has called Him everything from Zeus to Ra,
Not knowing that His name is just a congregation of letters.
As long as I'm with Him, He'll soon make my life better.
For He has carried out the duties of father
When my biologically bound one didn't bother.
He keeps me alive
So that I can be taught how to strive
For all that are mine and all that is right.
When I think all is lost in darkness, He exhibits His Light.
He is all that keeps me optimistic during my daily strifes.
He is the sole reason why I still take in the breath of life.
Life... I am alive...
But why am I still here?.....
That is still a question, I've yet to answer, my dear.......
